5 Days and counting till I expire?

So 5 more days until my due date...for the most part I feel pretty good. I am tired, swollen and uncomfortable at times. But I have a peace about the baby coming in Gods timing. Being induced with all the other kids has given me some perspective on even just our own need for things being put in our time table according to our schedule. Let's just say that I have learned a lot about Gods perfect time in the last 3 years which is nothing like my own. I still have so much more to grow in that area because still I do not understand at times. 

I want to learn absolute surrender...I have sometimes a habit of trying to hold on to some of the control of timing and other things in my life. I am a planner, I like to have all my ducks in a row. Well that doesn't always work...most of the time it doesn't work in God's big design. But thankfully we have a God who is merciful and understands our mindsets and gently guides us. He is a good, good Shepherd. I want Him to be my guide and the One I lean on. With life's ups and downs I need that guidance to be able to be the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend He intends me to be. I have so much to learn, so much more patience to gain...man am I weak and little. 

Anyhow, just a few thoughts as the day gets near that I give birth to baby #5! Being here all over again is most definitely very surreal. I want to do best by my family. I want to love them well...